Today I woke up still feeling terribly off. Like most of us on planet earth stress has reached a critical mass for me. I began to get heavy dizzy spells it seemed for no reason and with them came a circle, zig zag lined with rainbow prisms in the view of my life eye.
My entire life I have lived in the realm of what I call the DODIE DODIE which means the realties and worlds that exist along side of the one that we think it real and make all the difference in how we react and respond to this world that is basically fake, made up and in this world we can die or some other fear based reality can destroy us. The bottom line is that what we really are and where we came from can never be destroyed nor die, only the body, however there are many conscious beings who have used their bodies to cross time, space through cracks in the same body for 2000 physical years. There are books if you look for them where their stories are told. I have spent years with master and gurus, shamans, medicine people who also have told me stories about such people. I believe that during the course of the life that I have met a few of them who came to help me. I am noting this because we may even be able to change our minds in such a way that we are no longer bound to earth or to this reality we are living? Including our body? Something to think about for sure it would change everything about our painful, sad experiences on this level and it would change health care as it would no longer be needed.
Over the last 25 years of my life crazy experience/s beyond my control (like the deaths of 15 family members from 98 to 03) which I am calling fire/s here. I have had one fire after another; I have had to put these fires out single handedly. Sometimes there have been 5 major forest fires at once in my life and I am the only one battling them in an effort to put them out. I laugh and often tell people I have lived the life of a 90 year old person in a short 46 years! All of the events / fires have been life experiences that have lead me to where I am now. The final crossroad or let’s call it a split. Instead of looking ahead as two path ways of choice maybe what it really is, possibly is, me with one foot on each side. That the further the gap in the roads the harder my life becomes, the more my body suffers, the further the stretch between my feet, which is like snapping me in half at the hips at some point. Maybe the work is to unify, not choose the red pill or the blue, but to bring both side fully together? maybe? I think for me that is exactly what is happening and I am failing because of my belief that I should just choose another road which keeps me separated on all levels, stretched out, and pulled apart instead of unified. For me this keeps the battle alive, keeps me fighting: on the internal and external, the female and male, the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere, the human and the God, the esoteric and the logical, the all or the nothing.
I have learned that you have to believe for it to be real. The things were are hooked are yet con jobs and all look so real to keep your attention trapped and looping around into the same exact events over and over, the names may have been changed, costumes may be different but if you look deeply it is the same thing holding our attention keeping us stuck and the battle continues over and over until all the life, our batteries are run down and the physical body is destroyed in the greater scheme to cause the separation to forge a concept that this system we are living in is real and everything else is not, again another separation.
The physical symptoms that I have been having as of late stem from many issues: lack of rest, lack down time, lack of play time, my current juicing detox which is affecting my liver and gallbladder big time, people screaming at me, threatening me, sending me hate mail, pressures to make income to eat, my spiritual work has increased over the last 2 months and there is much more I could list but I want to focus on what I am noticing.
Over these last 2 weeks I have become aware at how fragile I am in the face of anger, rage, hate that comes from people. I see the passive / aggressive typical American broadcast more clearly. The passive being imbedded into the female, left side of the body and right brain and the aggressive right side, male and left brain. We have never really been taught balance, unity. We become passive, internalized and then we get filled with a need for rest, contemplation, healing, peace and the pressure from the outside world so much male being expressed onto us when this energy gets too much for us we explode pushing back against that which will not let us be. No wonder heart issues are at the top of list in hospitals? Blood pressure is up and down destroying the oxygen levels in our brain which is causing early dementia, and then we return to the passive female energy as we are checking out on epic levels caused by disease. If we can only get sick enough maybe the world will let us be? Maybe I will have an excuse to be passive? Not have to deal with my life? (Because) I have no idea how to unify myself, to use the aggressive energy, male energy to instigate real change by implementing what is created, birthed out by the female instead of rage, war, drama, conflict and anger? Or how to use the female energy for contemplation, connection to the infinite highways of information, pulling it in to us and creating an embryo of creation within, gestating and birthing it into reality? Into my reality. I get that there are chemtrails that are causing a huge amount of sickness, mental illness, physically illness but maybe at the bottom or at the heart of what is going on in our world could it be easier to check out? Being stuck in the passive aggressive limbo? Maybe it is easier to be sick then have a change of heart? Change of ideas? Obviously you need your heart to be in the right place, fully working properly to fuel the brain with the oxygen it needs to think, create and for the spark of potential and the possibility of real change. So Change of heart may be needed on the spiritual level, astral level, ether level, dreaming level in order to stop the decay of the health of the heart and the shutting down of our brain. Pray that you have a change of heart in a good way. Pray for others to have a change of heart in a good way. Pray that this change of heart leads you to an infinite, creating, unified being in a good way. That is what I pray for daily.
Going back to the dizzy spells I have been having and the numerous possibilities that could be creating it. I recently found out that my blood pressure is way beyond what it should be and I have always had the lowest blood pressure no matter what was going on around me. I was told that the new viruses and flues are now creating long term heart disease issues including heart murmurs by a doctor I went to. Terrified me since I have one of these these viruses that has lasted 2 months. Since I am conflicted about western medicine, my whole life I have been alternative, I come from an alternative family and my work for 30 years is in the alternative markets or really traditional medicine is more correct statement. I healed my brain tumor alternatively. What I know is that for me anything in the system kills. It steals our power slowly till there is nothing left of us. Then we die and are forced into the “heaven” scenario which by the way is a lie, it is a computer generated hologram suited to express what you need to hear to get you to reincarnate back into this system until your soul energy, frequency is gone. The light that people see is no different than the light that the ET’s use to trap people and bring them aboard their ships for medical testing. A tractor beam of sorts. I know this sound crazy but it is the truth. The whole life and death experience is generated to steal your life force from the body and the soul/spirit. For me in order to sort out what is wrong with my body I have to allow all the details to emerge. Then I will know what the next step/s are and I can carrying them out with love.
This process that I have been undergoing for the last 2 years is one where I think I can finally write the truth about such ideas. I have not been able to put what I know into words and I understand also that my symptoms are directly related to allowing myself to write what I know to be true and my experiences. My heart is in conflict of staying under the radar, not expressing some of the deepest things I know, have witnessed, experienced through my life, not that I am afraid, but sometimes these things are so deeply hidden to keep me normal, that uncovering them, writing about them can seem like a sin of sorts. I am hoping that the days of hiding such information from those around me is over and as I am sorting out these health issues that the separation of who I am really and what I know will unify the person I have pretended to be to get along, not show too much power, keep the power backed up as not to overwhelm others, conceal, hide and live with one foot on each path bobbling back and forth with steps that are so slow going forward.
Please see pt 2 for the rest of the story.
Grow Food, Be Free and Live for a Living!