The Brick…A Trigger…

A Trigger for me is an item, song, thought that shows up to transport you by person or by spirit to another place for teachings, education or knowledge. It is also graced my path to let me know there is a new cycle or the end of a cycle. However it is not always black and white to tell and you might not ever know which type of trigger has been or is being activated; I myself am still on a learning curve.

About 3 years ago I had a dream about this average reddish/pinkish brick with two very different American kinds of flags, later on when I came across the brick were actually stenciled on. In the dream I was looking at the brick very close up, having no idea what the pics on the brick fully meant as it was the only imagine in the dream. turns out that the brick was a completion trigger, the brick was an ending cycle. Please see pic that is on top of blog, real brick being discussed here.

I woke up from the dream thinking what the hell? A brick with American Flags symbols painted on it? What does this mean? Attack on American soil? War? There was such a lack of information in this dream other than this extremely close up look at the brick; I could not mistake it when I actually came upon the brick a year later.

I have been basically living out of my car since 2006 when I lost everything I owned, it happens. I do some couch hopping when available, as I work getting myself back up on the pony. I actually have funded projects these days but waiting for them to start and the money end always takes the longest to come into play. In my someday everything will be great, over the last few years life has been hard.

I had just moved out to the area where I attended high school to live with a old friend from high school. Every day I took my dog for a walk around this small town taking in changes since I was last there growing up. Within the first week I came across this brick, literally in an empty sand dune lot just sitting there. I instantly knew this brick! I stood there for quite awhile contemplating what it means? What should I do? I decided to pick it up and take it with me. Just one day later I was moving out of the couch hop as my friend who had another friend living “in” him let me know it was time for me to leave. We will call this friend living in my friend Demonic, with eye color changes and all. I have learned that some people love demonic beings, it gives them power they desire and justifications for their behavior that are right. It is best to leave right away and allow them to work it out unless they ask for help.

I now added this brick to my van which was about six months, and then I put it into my storage shed for about year and half. Then a few weeks ago another friend of mine wanted to gift me a small travel trailer to live in up the hill for helping her cure her bone cancer. I just had to start paying rent on the rv space for it. I was so excited! Finally a place of my own where I can get some long waited writing done, a space by myself that was cheap and I could afford it. Finally a home!

There were several things that should have been warnings to me that this was not a forever home, maybe a month at the longest. It was meant to be a turnstile. A forced or pushed from behind kind of thrust so you get through a door way with no way of turning around or coming back. You know one of those metal turn wheels that regulate people like in a sub way, one at a time and you cannot go back through. One way only, forward!

I dug through storage and got items out for the new place! Two items that people might think would be strange was the brick and this highly developed energy being rock. The day before I am suppose to move up the hill my friend starts calling me acting a fool. I still have no idea, not one idea what was going on with her and the trailer. That night I have a dream that three native, indigenous grandmothers were at the trailer in the rv park they were wrapping the trailer in a long prayer blanket counter clockwise they said that they had to straighten out the energy that was currently there. The prayers on the blanket encouraging that existing energy to go backwards, reversing the energies there, un create themselves. The Grandmothers (ancestors) then smudged the trailer and prayed over it in a language I did not understand. Then I woke up, I felt great about moving up the hill now it was the first time the grandmothers had worked with me in the dreaming world and came to my aid, was a huge gift and honor.

I spend a whole day scrubbing and cleaning the dog urine that was extreme on the floors in the trailer and then I cleared everything out that was not needed and moved my stuff in and unpacked. Just when I finally finished setting everything up, I was setting down to write, get some work done, finally there was quiet, I felt good and BAM. A man pulls up to the trailer, who I did not know, was literally trying to come into the trailer. I stepped outside to gently confront him. Good news my dog was not happy, the man knew that he may be able to push me around but my dog was a whole other deal. One thing I have learned over the last 4 years is that people will do all kinds of rude, mindless harm to people: hit, stab, steal, lie, scream, push themselves onto you will not cease unless you have a loaded gun or a big dog that looks pretty protective and even trained! It is a last straw and they will move on when they cannot push anymore towards their desired goal. My dog has literally saved me from rape, carjacking (3 times), abuse, ect.

This time was no different the only reason this man backed off was my dog. Finally he left, turns out that he was the ex husband of the friend of mine who left town and gave me the trailer to live in. after three hours of dealing with this guy, he finally left and I knew that whatever was going on with the man and my friend was not good and I could not stay there, just felt dangerous to me. I pack all my shit up over the next morning into my van. I then pulled out a blanket put it under a tree with my dog on the grass. We stared at the clouds, the sky and napped for like 6 hours. That was a great healing day. The last couple of things I needed to pack up were the energy being rock and the brick. The rock and the brick were both speaking to me of staying there. I picked up the rock and found it an amazing home under this tree, the color of the rock started to turn into a dark green, I knew it was happy and doing the work that it had traveled with me for. Put tobacco prayers over it and left it.

I went back, picked up the brick and began looking for a right place for it. Wondering if someone else will dream about it and find it there where I will place it? I was still trying to figure out what the meaning of this brick was? Why I dreamt about it and later found it, carried it to this very place to leave it? Was beginning to think it meant nothing? Just part of the world I live in, strange.

I found a place under a tree for it, placed tobacco prayers on it and got into my van. I was getting ready to head off back down into Reno again, confused more than ever but great’ful no bad or harm had come to me. Then I heard this voice tell me to take a picture of the brick I might need it. I turned the van off, got out, grabbed my tablet and snapped a really close photo of the brick. That is the moment that I saw the exact image of the brick in my dream It meant to me that right now is the moment I had come to with the brick, a very important trigger here.

How do I make sure I greet this moment and opportunity properly?

I just looked as this trailer situation as the same kind of event that has happened over and over in my life, not just with living, but people in general and that it was tied to 1982 when the first Physical, mental and emotional trespass was made on me by men. This event was to play on for 30 years and it had scar’d me, brought me some continued damage. I also knew that the eclipse was also asking me to close this door, was giving me an opportunity and the brick was the trigger, the auspicious development.

This last eclipse was the book end to close that cycle that was started in 1982. The brick was the notification of the turnstile, that this is the moment I had been lead into with the brick as the trigger and what was I going to do?

I walked through the turnstile, closing the door on the past and drove off creating a new pattern of trust in the magic of my guides and beings who help me all the time, who arranged for the dream of the brick that lead up to years of carrying it to the right place during a perfect planetary alignment to close a thirty year door of pain, abuse, suffering, violence upon my person by men.

The next thirty years I choose sunsets and sunrises, laying on blankets under a tree all day long, watching clouds, letting my consciousness drift and sometimes I will get the chance to write about such things!

You still have time, the eclipse energy is still current o help you finalize your own past right now and start a new thirty year cycle of what you intend or you can unconsciously just keep playing this theme out until you are offered yet another chance again in the thirty years! this ticket is good until the next eclipse!

Grow Food, Be Free and Live for a Living!

Failure or Time to Let GO…

failure letting go pic

Failure or Time to Let GO…
The last couple of months I have been tossing around feelings and mental processes in regards to what I seem to deem as failure/s on the road called My life. In this day many people spouting new age beliefs about there is no such thing as failure? Then why is it a deeply programmed system within us? Why does failure appear constantly in the back grounds of our minds playing out causing giant waves of guilt flowing over about everything we say, eat, do or even think?

On this road called my life I walk “The Path”, The Red Road which I have learned from teachers of the First Nations People’s of many tribes. The road unlike new age is not meant to make you feel good, it is meant to bring you into relationship with all that exists and the long term is to bring you into complete and total balance, to the center of your personal medicine or wheel. Unlike a see saw a wheel pivoting on the center can become extremely off balanced with a wrong step, even small.

Take a round disked object and place it in the tip of your little finger in the very middle section make sure the disk does not have a hole. The Cherokee tell us that our wheel is suspended in the universe from the four direction edges that anything can break the string attached to each direction. You can see that your place on the wheel in the middle takes awareness, stability, attention because in one minute the whole wheel can fall from its balanced place. When the wheel leans to one direction because we lose our ability to be in balance because we have “checked” out in some manner something has stolen and is holding our attention or energy away from the balanced place in the center of our wheel which was holding everything in relationship to us in balance. This cheese if you will, will slide of the cracker. You will then have to work very hard to get that piece of cheese not only back onto that cracker but you will have to do it with will / attention because you cannot step off to gather the experiences or cheese to put it back on, mostly you will not have the awareness or attention by practice needed to complete such a feat.

So now we have another issue that comes into play called: holding on. Holding on is not the same as balance or center. Holding on is a reaction to the world we live in when what we do, are taught does not exactly work in our big picture of keeping what we want. It happened by our attention being grabbed away from our self, our balance, our center and yes we allowed it by not having constant awareness. We may feel we have been caught off guard this is a figment of our illusion of blame. We choose for whatever reason to be pulled off or allow ourselves to be pulled off by what we may also be called drama. When we take a bold step towards what has grabbed our attention, the wheel leans and the experiences, resources, relationships scoot to the edge when we see this we stop where we are so that they do not fall off, that we do not loose them and we begin an old pattern of holding on to. We stay that way sometimes for an entire life, never either allowing things to fall off into the abyss or to take a step back into balance. Holding on is a reaction to loosing what we have, however it is our blame since we were the ones that created our person wheel to become so far out of balance as to allow things to slide off. In a balanced place on the center of our person wheel there is not loose or gain and there is plenty of room for everything along the circle of our wheel. Where our bundles of experiences, relationships, resources are placed by spirit during our life and when it becomes full then we pass gracefully on to live again with a new wheel to fill up. Holding on is a reaction to loosing something or someone.
If our ability cannot retain it, hold on to it then we move into failure pattern. If we did not want it then we can in some cases let go and if we choose to do nothing we hold on never doing anything else but that until we croak. Never moving forward, backwards or allowing new experiences. Having full possibilities and potential comes from being at the center of your personal wheel in balance with all your relations, your relationships to everything here in this world. In the biggest part of this relationship can, will include your relationship even to the grass you mow in your yard, you know the one we put toxic chemicals on every year which is a step out of balance with that grass, a step out of balance with the earth and a step out of balance in our families and pets health. We are out of balance all the time day in and out have zero awareness because we have NOT the ability to hold the attention necessary to be in balance at the center of our wheel which makes us an observer in balance with all relations. Even the grass pays when our wheel tips. When we want more and try to find ways to manipulate this world, control this world, to force this world for say more money causes a huge out of balance with all the relations. Something will have to be offered to create a new balance on the wheel from the force of say the money to be brought on the wheel in an unnatural way. Something will have to suffer in the re-balancing, there is always a trade. Maybe the health of your child slides off the wheel because to tipped it in the direction of more money. Eventually your child dies because of that weight and pull that drove to the manipulation to misuse our energy, our attention and the tipping of our personal wheel. By the way our Wheel can cause the tipping pivoting of the Earths personal wheel because all of OUR wheels along with all living things on her are her relations and experiences. First Nation people teach me that you take something, force something and something else will pay for it to adjust or attempt to adjust the wheel back into balance.

Of Course we want what we want in that minute, that week but is it worth it in the end? Most will never know because there is not enough awareness to understand what you are trying to get versus the consequences down the road and what must be giving up. Everything that comes to you in a balance way jives with what is already have on your wheel and in your life and extreme force, conjuring will changes everything I have seen it wipe a whole wheel off, the loose of everything. You may, all of sudden get a slice of consciousness, maybe even get a blink of understanding of what has been done, but the two main stay patterns still exist in you and the strongest is that of going into holding on, do not take another step please god save my kid, but still cannot connect all the dots or adopt a center of balance to full see that your desires, want an attempts to pull them on to your wheel tilting it started to erase the child’s life from your wheel, from your reality in attempt to balance it. Then there is the anger that emerges because GOD did not save your child, because you created an out of balance wheel and the health of your kid was traded for more money, a husband, a house, another drink and whatever else we desire. I know that this seems like such a harsh way to put it but it applies to anything and everything we have a relationship with. We could lose our home in the same manner.

Please remember that I am trying to write about something that I myself have had to learn and most of this teaching does not have a language, it comes in a transfer from the teacher to the student. If it sounds like one hand clapping kind of dialog and you cannot grasp it, please just let it simmer in you and maybe it will become something from in you down the road.

The New Ager’s like to tell us that the choice is between fear and love. It seems like a simple choice; however in my teachings of what I have been taught fear is a byproduct. That our choice is to always be in balance in the center of our wheel and that is that, there is nothing worldly to gain like love or fear, good or bad ceases to exist and becomes the truth of being and is what it is, without all the labels or mess, clutter that this world makes up and we assimilate into the subconscious mind.

When something shows up that steals our untrained attention and we react out of fear which is the byproduct it underwent the deeper layers of emotion we could say or unconscious behavior, our auto pilot default system first. The fear, savior, do something always is the first defense what we do not usually see or feel are the under working chemicals / emotions that when we build awareness and personal work with ourselves will show themselves. So we have fear which is the first defense, the next layer down is the anger, which can flare up if the fear activation, the do something does not hold up. Then we use the anger default program and usually whatever made it through can be stopped once we over react, become a nightmare or wild animal. However the deeper level that most people will never see unless they do some heavy personal work is the guilt. The anger trigger is such a strong one that it keeps anyone including ourselves from every seeing the guilt, ever. We may feel the guilt as panic attacks; I feel that most heart issues are related to the guilt program that is like a gene of some kind of genetic program within us.
We live in a way that we cannot see the guilt and in some cases there is simple no vocabulary for it, I have found in my own life that it is a societal workings and early on in your life the training of it came in looks, grunts and other non vocabulary behavior from everyone around you. Which makes it that much more complicated to bring into a frame work of understanding. This guilt not only triggers the holding on pattern but it also triggers that failure process in us and in some case the giving up which is basically no different than the holding on. Since both of them stop any progress in any direction for a length of time or life time. When we can start to notice, step into the guilt which means we are going to have to feel it, sit with it, we are not going to be able to our think through it, since it is a non verbal arrangement. Our choice to break through so that we may gain some kind of balance on our wheel in ourselves is to sit with the suffering of it, the panic of it and do nothing, offer no reaction and each time we do so we let go of it a bit more, the hold it has over us. How you came to this place does not matter, who is to blame does not matter those are reactions, illusions the subconscious needs to throw up to keep you from looking and dealing with the feeling of intensity that guilt is and the chemical triggers that our brain under goes whenever the system is breached by such things that expose it.

What I am attempting to offer here is that when we move into, we react to, we get stuck places of holding on or giving up in the process of failure that is a chemical trigger in the brain causing it to seem so much more that it is, we should sit, even lock yourself in a closet if you must, hold yourself, breath and let it go. When your wheel of life has been leaning so harshly to one side and the people, relationships, resources are sliding off the end or about to, just step back to the center, hold yourself and let go of whatever it is that may be gone now, that may have slide off and know that there is much more to add to your wheel of experiences today, tomorrow by keeping yourself aware, not giving up or holding on as reactions to failure and the inner guilt. I leave with a pray. As I know this process is walking straight up hill with no visible path kind. You have to find your own way and keep trying until your wheel is in full balance and you are the center of your personal wheel and personal universe.

May you continue to bring yourself to the center of your personal wheel in a good way. May you become balanced with all your relations in a good way. May you learn to hold your attention to the place of balance with in you, thus holding the balance for all things here in a good way. May you find your balance in a good way to hold a piece of balance for our precious Mother Earth before it is too late.
So it is, so shall it be, NOW! AHO

Grow Food, Be Free and Live For a Living,

Tobacco as a Vehicle for Prayer…

tobaaco plant draw

I want to first off again let you readers know that I am not first nation blood. There are many tribes all over the world with similar and sometimes not: ideas, beliefs and practices. Today I am writing about my ideas, beliefs and practices that may be similar or not to those of first nation person/s. My work in creating, crafting, building my medicines is my own. I have had the pleasure of learning from many people who walk in the dreaming realms, shamanistic, medicine/s circles and spirit worlds. I have developed my own work based on the similar things I have learned. Sometimes a teacher has been present and sometimes not and during those times I had to build on what I had already known. I have come to respect traditions when necessary and understand that sometimes I am on my own and I have to make it myself by working with Spirit creating my medicine tool chest that is used for myself, animals, other people, air, sky, wind, plants, trees, soil, earth, buildings, you name it! I just do not want to pretend to be something I am not. I also want you to know that you can create your own medicine/s and how you use them. Building the steps towards what ever medicine you desire to know, by creating friends with it. Pray is always a good tool in letting the living being/s you are working with know you are serious.

Right now I am going to discuss “prayer smoke”. Tobacco is the medium in which the prayer is carried to the creator by spirals of smoke floating up. Tobacco is very serious business maybe one of the most important medicines used. I have tobacco heirloom seeds of several varieties and once I start farming will be planting, growing, harvesting, and becoming friends with, learning about its medicine with a desire to grow my own sacred tobacco for ceremony.

Currently when I buy tobacco I buy it from first nation stores. I buy the organic across the board. I buy high quality I am using it to send a message, a request to Great Spirit or God, I never cheap out on Spirit!

I have been in situations where a serious prayer was seriously needed and had to use a cigar. It was high quality Cuban. There times where sacred is what you make of it. That is what happened here.

I was always against smoking. My mom smoked pretty heavy and it just never felt right to me, made me sick when people in my generation smoked in the house, on planes. It was bad news! When I began working with tobacco it was usually added to smudge. It was usually some group purification event so many people used a pinch of tobacco, prayed into it and added it to the pot of smudge. I also would add lavender, jasmine, rose flowers, other types of herbs into the mix when needed like in a house blessing.

After that I started using a loose leaf tobacco blend for offerings to land, front door areas, water, especially when going into a place like a vast forest I would offer before I stepped onto a the trail. I use the tobacco offerings in a way of saying hello, I am here, I am friendly, I honor you, by the way bless you, I am listening and I come in peace!

Several years ago I was asked to do healing work on a powerful woman. Her name is Heather. She wrote a book about her experience as a white woman married to the last dreamer and chief of the Yaqui nation. The book is called the Queen of Dreams in case you want to read it.

We would begin the session with pray smoke. Setting the intention for the session and calling in Great Spirit. Her prayer was for what she needed from me and my prayer was for the best I could be for her. She taught me that it is okay to use cigarettes for pray smoke. She preferred a smaller cigar type. It is when it all came together for me. Now I use loose leaf, or premade always organic and always in alignment of the highest pray and good. I never smoke, when I smoke I pray.

Mediums all over the world have used smoking as a way to intice spirits from the other worlds into this one for the purpose of communicating. I do not do medium work I have found I can connect in to God and get what I need to know there.

Back in my manic days when I did not understand walking THE PATH and giving everything to it. Back then I was more into trying to control my reality, life that was constantly a mess of drama and chaos. One day up and the next down, an emotional disaster I was even if no one could see it. I think most everyone I knew and this applies to today was so caught up in their drama of trying to force there life into a form they could live with always around money, the fantasy that was projected onto us by mind control experts through TV, food, society that project on to us what we should be, look like, what to wear and if we did so we would fit in and be so unbelievable happy! Bullshit’a’rony big time.

I began the path of my people when I was born into this world. I did not formally accept the path until 23 and it was not until my brain tumor that I fully complied with living fully in a conscious way, a ritual way, a ceremonial way, hour by hour, moment by moment. Eventually it comes down to dying the physical death or the shamanic death, rebirth, resurrection to BE the person I came here to BE. My life is all about my spiritual work which has mostly been emotional work until now. Once I gave in I could finally see what prayer is, means and why I must do it. Before my prayers were all over the place. I asked for things to be the way I wanted them, not in the way they needed to be for the full evolution of my spirit. When I began prayer smoking I had paragraphs of words while I attempted to hold intention and attach them to the smoke in the form of prayer and I wondered why it did not seem to work for me. Why God was some how not listening? Maybe there was no God, no Creator? Everything was way too complicated because that is what I was, complicated.

Steps I take: I find a good energy place outside to sit or stand in. I pick up the object I am using for the pray smoke. If I was given the right to be a pipe carrier and maybe some day I will I would use the sacred pipe putting the tobacco in it carefully with full attention and intention of my prayer. I am using my own rolled cigs or bought ones these days. I will hold the cig to my head focus of intent and then to my heart and focus of intent. Then I call to the 7 directions I hope to write a blog on my experience with the directions in the future stay tuned! Next I light with matches; this is another sacred idea here. Only use that which is or comes from a living being. Matches come from the standing beings which are tress and are consider very sacred and what they bring to light the pray. Then I began pulling in the smoke and intentionalizing it with my intent and blowing it out allowing it to flow to the heavens, most the time carried by the wind. Then when I am done I usually put whatever is left into my sacred jar for keeping. I never leave any medicine even used anywhere. It is mine. I might need it down the road even the smallest bit.

The tobacco plant has the most beautiful flowers that smell out of this world good. The flower is white and looks like a vessel and bees love it, honor it. I have spent a good length of this life to learn to honor tobacco, to trust, to settle down in a uniform intention and pray a prayer worth praying. The more I settle in and trust, the more I find there is only one prayer that is worth praying, worth intent, worth sending a smoke signal to the heavens and is worth it to Great Spirit and that is Thank-you. It is all I send these days, it is a simple intention held during the duration of the pray smoke and it is really the only pray that matters for me these days. I have nothing to prove, to conjure, to do as my ego slips into the unified self and I am everything in this moment as I surrender into being. The Thankfulness that I have reached in my life, some sort of sanity and my need for anything becomes less and less. I am everything and all there is left to do is thank God for my life, for my being when I feel prayer is needed. When I feel the desire come from within to light up my sacred tobacco, hold my intent in my mind, heart and with every cell emotionally aligned into full being producing in harmony the being’ness of thank you. As I send my pray smoke to the Spirit of all things with Thankfulness for creating me.

Grow Food, Be Free & Live for a Living!


5 Levels of Healing and Wellness…


I  have been facilitating healing and teaching wellness in the “wholestic” fields for over 30 years. I started at a very young age knowing the ins and outs of health, healing, life and death. It started with insects at a very young age. Insects and I are still very good friends. Insects offer me protection, warn me so to speak and have been known to swarm me, buffering me from currents of dark energies.

Next I began working with plants, tress and living forces. However that was cut off and I picked back up in my early 30’s. Diving into the world of our 4 legged friends and winged beings. Once when I was 22 I found a young hawk. She looked to have taken her first flight and did not make it back. I heard the mother hawk squawking above, when I looked down I could hear faint peeps coming from a corner of a bull riding shoot. I found her, she was almost dead. I streamed water down my finger into her beak. I picked her up in my sweat shirt and took her home. I had no idea what I was getting into; no one could have prepared me. My friends thought I was nuts! Told me I was nuts. I was not afraid. I was always bringing animal/s home, taking care of them, helping them to die if that is what happened. When I arrived home I feed the baby hawk some pheasant that I had put out from a hunting trip for dinner. She ate so much then just became tired so I rolled her up in the sweat shirt put her on my bed in the room and shut the door. 4 hours later I went to check on her and she was flying around the room much bigger than I had noticed and hissing at me. I was really hurt she was not longer my friend or needed my care. Thus the lesson of wild is wild and sometimes in our care a short time and belongs in the wild. There was no way to handle her in the frisky shape she was in. beak and nails sharp as blades. So I shut the door and came about hours later when she had worn herself out, rolled her up in the sweat shirt, put her in the car and drove her to a hawk rehabilitation center up the mountain I had found when I came to the realization she was not going to be my pet! She was eventually set free into the wild and I care her medicine with me where ever I go.

Somewhere around 19 I began doing medium work for people who had questions, actually found out I was pretty good at it. However mine information seemed to show its self in patterns of thinking, feeling that disturb health. People would want to know about their marriage and it would come out in the patterns that were affecting the health of the individuals and ultimately affecting the marriage. For several years it happened at some point I came to the awareness that I was a medical intuitive, not a medium. I also have the gift to heal what is causing the weakness.

I began working with people full time after apprenticing with a Lakota Medicine woman for a year when I was 23. Until then I just thought maybe I might be crazy with all the information I had and was able to tap into. She gave me the confidence in myself to know that I was a vessel for spirit to do the work. I never have judge myself and my abilities sense.

I had a life changing illness, brain tumor at 31 that forever change my work, it became personal. I learned so much from the experience. Early on I had to choose fear and the medical establishment or walk my talk and trust that everything I need and needed to know would find me and it did. Took 11 years for the totally healing to happen, but it has. It only strengthened my belief in the realities other than the one we see. It provided me with the death of the person to become awakened as the shaman or medicine woman. I carry strong snake medicine; snake was the first night dream I ever had as a child. Snake told me that my whole family would die and I would be alone. It happened in 1998 to 2003 I lost my family and then 2 of my closets friends were murdered separately. Snake prepared me all of my life to take the bite, the venom and transmute it into the medicine for illness for what caused the sickness.

I began growing my own organic produce and herbs again around age 30 returning back to teachings from my mother and great grand mother. 10 years later returned back to school to learn Biodynamic farming, I also did a few farming internships and permaculture retreats. I then began building urban farm projects for individual families for food productions. I am currently in the process of buying 20 acres for a full Biodynamic off the grid farm with teaching center for veterans and clinic for alternative treatments and education.

The following are what I see as the 4 levels of health, wellness and the awareness that is part of them. We are always guided to the next step. If we listen we would know but we discount it, creating drama about the money, family, obligations, loyalties and responsibilities that our not ours. We make up excuses, usually the same ones our mothers and fathers had, repeating them; we can sometimes hear the people from our past in our heads and verbally repeating word for word and we know that we are officially full programmed!

Health, Healing and Wellness only work if we can follow spirit, your spirit openly. It will tell us everything we need, lead us exactly to where we need to be and bring to us what we need. We just have to let go of the martyr we have become. As if it is the only thing we are capable of becoming or could become? It is strongly rooted in us, especially women. Our obligation is to take care of ourselves and listen to the voice of spirit or God whatever works for us. When we are busy with all the bullshit of life, we get sick, stay sick and usually always die younger than we should have. Living is not running after things or to things. It is welcoming everything to us and taking it all in.

These levels have nothing to do with religion, politics, what you have, what you do not have and what your health is currently. These levels are also my observation/s. You can use them or not, take them or leave them. There is no stress here. Just an observation/s.

Level one: is where we start to get rest, changing the physical form or structures of life, less drama and stress, possibly job changes, massages, drinking purified water and more of it, Mental illness is prevalent. Judging ourselves against the world from our minds and not in all case/s there is an event such as illness, disease, injury, chronic abuse that has forced us to stop. Sometimes we never get from level one to level two we just force ourselves back up and out into the game again.

Level two: is where we start to move around, an exercise routine, walking, movement of some sort and we notice nature more we may even be doing our moving around in nature more. We begin to seek out meditation, affirmations, information on getting well in books and positive thinking. We attend lectures and retreats. We actively start watching our dreams, writing in journals and we start to notice the other person living within. We may start to listen to and beginning a dialog with this other part of our self. We can see our patterns and begin to understand that we have not been living “authentically”. This can induce a heavy emotional period that seems unending. We are learning that we have a choice.

Levels three: begins when we move towards eating nutrient dense foods, growing our own food or gardening, cooking, preparation of foods and juicing. Your consciousness starts to expand to more than just the physical world you are living in and we see everything around us now as living. We are starting to see how our reactions are causing your outer reality around us. We are moving towards changing the patterns causing the emotional reactions with things like yoga, chanting, herbal medicine, acupuncture and energy healing. The physical body is coming around, more energy is being held in the body by feeding it properly, the health of the body is stronger and critical thinking moves in. Focus of taking care of ourselves becomes a new rooted system. Ritual, ceremony and prayer become a focus of daily life.

Level four: is about letting go, deep practices of breath work, heart opening, emotional reacting is no longer happening. Stillness and listening have taken the place of emotional outbursts. Life is becoming sacred and there is nothing you have to do it becomes at matter of being. You may be attracted to NLP, Alphabiotics and other such re-programming/rebooting therapies to finally clear and let go of the past at this level.

Level five: We start reaching into the astral and ether realms to define us. We are building abilities to use energies from the earth, water, plants, cosmos, sun, moon to heal our dimensional being/s. It is the place in which you know you are energy, you no longer carry the heavy density of the physical body. The body is moving into being lighter and less like matter. It is the death of the shaman where the death of your old self the one who was not you anyway dies and the new is born. We reach out pulling energy to us to, recharge, increase energy out put and storing energy for the future. It is the spirit forms that we can see now through the physical of what we have known. It is where we find everything that is and every that will be. Where we become the unified being, living in a unified field, we are one with all. A reflection of God on earth.

In this work we find patients, step by step as our awareness expands the limits of what we thought we knew. We are light beings not matter what we are told or lead to know.

Currently I do traditional osteopathic medicine mixed with shamanism for treating. I simply call what I do “Energy and Structural Medicine”. I have adapted it for all living beings bugs, animals, birds, people, plants, trees, soil, buildings, land, farms, companies, corporations, businesses and whatever else is asked of me I find a way. I have always been able to see the sickness, the weakness in things and I allow the cure to come from the unified field in which I am. I always have the right tool for the right job!

May your healing efforts bloom like flowers in the summer, full wide and open.

Grow Food, Be Free & Live for a Living!


Morning Prayer to the Creator…


Awhile ago someone sent me this pray by email. I cannot remember who it was. There was also never a name attached to the writing of this prayer. I want you all to know I did not write it that someone else did. However it has become part of my life, part of the morning work I do and I wanted to share it in case anyone out there in blog land has a desire to work with it as well.

In future blogs, near future I am going to discuss how I as a white person have worked with the 7 directions, pray smoke and the run to the sun. I have a long lineage of shamanic peoples from my father’s side in Russia and that is where the actual word shaman comes from. On my mothers side an equally and if not more powerful blood line of shaman level lineage. I am not of First Nation blood, but my work and the work of my teachers is. I have adapted many things to create my own medicine, my own power and my own work that I would like to share in the future. One of my first teachers told me that I would take from her medicine eventually excelling in it and then through my life craft, design my own medicine. I have done exactly that and as I grow in my confidence with the medicine I use for my self and all life I feel ready to share and teach it from my personal treasury chest of practice.

Peace to you all this morning of great’ness. It is a good day to be alive!

Morning Prayer:

Creator, it is I. Thank you for today’s sunrise, for the breath and life within me, and for all of your creations. Creator, hear my prayer, and honor my prayer.

As the day begins with the rising sun, I ask, Spirit keeper of the East, Brother Eagle, be with me. Fly high as you carry my prayers to the Creator. May I have eyes as sharp as yours, so I am able to see truth and hope on the path I have chosen. Guide my step and give me courage to walk the circle of my life with honesty and dignity.

Spirit keeper of the South, Wolf, be with me. Help me to remember to love and feel compassion for all mankind. Help me to walk my path with joy and love for myself, for others, for the four legged, the winged ones, the plants and all creation upon Mother Earth. Show me it is right for me to make decisions with my heart, even if at times, my heart becomes hurt. Help me to grow and nurture my self worth in all ways.

Spirit Keeper of the West, Brown Bear, be with me. Bring healing to the people I love and to myself. Bring into balance the physical, mental and spiritual, so I am able to know my place on this earth, in life and in death. Heal my body, heal my mind and bring light, joy and awareness to my spirit.

Spirit Keeper of the North, White Buffalo, be with me. As each day passes, help me to surrender, with grace, the things of my youth. Help me to listen to the quiet, and find serenity and comfort in the silences as they become longer. Give me wisdom so I am able to make wise choices in all things which are put in front of me, and when time for my change of worlds has come, let me go peacefully, without regrets, for the things I neglected to do as I walked along my path.

Mother Earth, Thank you for your beauty, and for all you have given me. Remind me never to take from you more then I need, and remind me to always give back more than I take. All my Relations